What is it really like to go crazy?

trigger warning : suicide and eating disorders

I was sat in the warm bathtub with all of my clothes on when I swallowed the 38 sleeping pills that I had scraped together between two bottles prescribed to me by an online psychiatrist. That day, I decided that eternal sleep was more appealing than living another day on this earth in misery. I let myself sink into the warm water as a scented candle fl…